Operation Fatty Blaster is on hiatus until the new year. Although the pricing is ridiculously inexpensive, I just really cannot swing any additional costs right now! It totally sucks, but things are super tight and some extras need to be cut out for a bit...
Until next time....
Jenn
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Oh left booty cheek, how I love thee
My left butt cheek and leg hurt! Yea, I got some lower body work in! Tee hee
After last Wednesday's workout, I had a conversation with Joe that either I was not doing the exercises right or that I needed more lower body workout because I was not feeling even a touch of soreness "down there" after boot camp. So last night, my request of a big time leg work out was fulfilled! I also had both E and Joe watching me with the stank eye to make sure I was doing all the stuffs right. I also made some of my own adjustments so I could focus more on the actual exercise to make sure form was kosher and less on the extras. For example, lightening up the weights a little so I'm not struggling to make sure I lift the weight and not paying attention so that lunges are clean and un-retarded.
The circuits we did last night were straight WORK son! Wall jumps, jumping 2-footed over a bar on the ground (fully expected me or dingle berry Audrey to take a dive, but we didn't die), freaking planks on a balance ball, which I absolutely could not do. I was shaking like the Royal Gorge bridge on that bitch. There were also like 3 other leg workouts, an arm and some ab stations. My left quad and cheek are sore, but nothing in the hammy area. My abs are also SUPER sore.
The best part of last night was, as always, having my fatty with me. Having Audrey there makes things sooo much easier to deal with. We totally got into a certified ninja fight before our workout (the asian winning of course). We've known each other for so long that we always know when the other one could use a high five and a good job, or a "Move your ass fat girl!". That bitch rags on me all dee time, but I know what she's saying to me is straight troof! Oh and I can call her bitch because that's the kind of friends we are. I always read crap about people saying that you should have a workout partner, but never really understood why in the hell I needed someone to give me a high five and tell me to walk faster on my path to nowhere on a treadmill. Boot camp is different. I feel more of a team atmosphere, even though the majority of the ladies look at me like I'm a nutcase (and it's not like I'm used to it). Having your best friend next to you, going through the fire with you, is a definite motivator.
OH shoooooot ya'll and let me tell you....them stank ass fellas found a way to make us do mother effing suicides inside, in a small, carpeted room. Unreal. I'm actually getting a little less bitter about it, I did them without as much anger as I usually do and applied a small amount of effort this time. No guarantees for the future though.
So Miss Carissa may come check out a boot camp tomorrow! I'm so excited! She'll be booty hurt about the tunes as the music is like a fake house mix of our favorite pop songs. Like how do you make Leavin' by Jesse McCartney into a fist pumping song? It's just wrong on so many levels. Only aerobics instructors at the gym actually get moving on that crap. Give me some top 40 or some good ole rock and roll and my fat booty will wiggle for you!
Nutrition. Don't even want to talk about it. Audrey and I decided that I would keep track of everything I eat this week and then we'd take a look at it and see what we can do. She just watched me drink a glass of shock top, 3/4 of a double bbq burger, and jack Jovan for some of his green chilis fries. I did, however, have a chicken salad for lunch that I made at home and brought to work. Unfortunately, I was still STARVING after I ate it and had a pack of noodles too. I'm just such a picky eater! Not to the point where I won't eat a bunch of foods, but if that shit doesn't have BIG flavor, I don't like it. I'm half Korean dude. I grew up on kimchee. Do you think I can work with bland food in any way, shape or form? It's gotta have BIG FLAVA!!
Anyway, bedtime for bonzo, gotta get me a workout in tomorrow night! Oh and I guess I better get some rest for work too. I'm just a slave to the man....
Love you hags,
Jenn
After last Wednesday's workout, I had a conversation with Joe that either I was not doing the exercises right or that I needed more lower body workout because I was not feeling even a touch of soreness "down there" after boot camp. So last night, my request of a big time leg work out was fulfilled! I also had both E and Joe watching me with the stank eye to make sure I was doing all the stuffs right. I also made some of my own adjustments so I could focus more on the actual exercise to make sure form was kosher and less on the extras. For example, lightening up the weights a little so I'm not struggling to make sure I lift the weight and not paying attention so that lunges are clean and un-retarded.
The circuits we did last night were straight WORK son! Wall jumps, jumping 2-footed over a bar on the ground (fully expected me or dingle berry Audrey to take a dive, but we didn't die), freaking planks on a balance ball, which I absolutely could not do. I was shaking like the Royal Gorge bridge on that bitch. There were also like 3 other leg workouts, an arm and some ab stations. My left quad and cheek are sore, but nothing in the hammy area. My abs are also SUPER sore.
The best part of last night was, as always, having my fatty with me. Having Audrey there makes things sooo much easier to deal with. We totally got into a certified ninja fight before our workout (the asian winning of course). We've known each other for so long that we always know when the other one could use a high five and a good job, or a "Move your ass fat girl!". That bitch rags on me all dee time, but I know what she's saying to me is straight troof! Oh and I can call her bitch because that's the kind of friends we are. I always read crap about people saying that you should have a workout partner, but never really understood why in the hell I needed someone to give me a high five and tell me to walk faster on my path to nowhere on a treadmill. Boot camp is different. I feel more of a team atmosphere, even though the majority of the ladies look at me like I'm a nutcase (and it's not like I'm used to it). Having your best friend next to you, going through the fire with you, is a definite motivator.
OH shoooooot ya'll and let me tell you....them stank ass fellas found a way to make us do mother effing suicides inside, in a small, carpeted room. Unreal. I'm actually getting a little less bitter about it, I did them without as much anger as I usually do and applied a small amount of effort this time. No guarantees for the future though.
So Miss Carissa may come check out a boot camp tomorrow! I'm so excited! She'll be booty hurt about the tunes as the music is like a fake house mix of our favorite pop songs. Like how do you make Leavin' by Jesse McCartney into a fist pumping song? It's just wrong on so many levels. Only aerobics instructors at the gym actually get moving on that crap. Give me some top 40 or some good ole rock and roll and my fat booty will wiggle for you!
Nutrition. Don't even want to talk about it. Audrey and I decided that I would keep track of everything I eat this week and then we'd take a look at it and see what we can do. She just watched me drink a glass of shock top, 3/4 of a double bbq burger, and jack Jovan for some of his green chilis fries. I did, however, have a chicken salad for lunch that I made at home and brought to work. Unfortunately, I was still STARVING after I ate it and had a pack of noodles too. I'm just such a picky eater! Not to the point where I won't eat a bunch of foods, but if that shit doesn't have BIG flavor, I don't like it. I'm half Korean dude. I grew up on kimchee. Do you think I can work with bland food in any way, shape or form? It's gotta have BIG FLAVA!!
Anyway, bedtime for bonzo, gotta get me a workout in tomorrow night! Oh and I guess I better get some rest for work too. I'm just a slave to the man....
Love you hags,
Jenn
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Can we make my ba-donk-a-donk just a donk?
My large butt tries to eat everything in its path. That's why I always have a wedgie, because my butt gets hungry and tries to eat my drawers. Digging them out is no bueno. How can we make my butt smaller and in turn...LESS HONGRY??? Boot Camp - HELP ME!
Last night was the first time I went to a workout at the SunSpot. So this place is rad. It's the most awesome tanning spot I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I don't tan anymore. Being in my 30's and gettin' my first odd mark on my face from the sun kinda killed my love for the yummy coconut smell mixed in with sweaty flesh. There's a room in the back that we are using now that the weather is cold. Audrey and I were actually talking about this and we really prefer working out inside. While the fresh, cool air is nice, being inside and actually being able to feel yourself sweat, you just feel like you are working hard. Sweat is gooood. BTW-there's a bathroom. I don't have to make random journeys to Village Inns or Albertsons :).
E-dawg did work on us. What I love about E is that he really doesn't give a rat's hairy ball sac about how much I whine and complain. No sympathy, just do it. Which is awesome, because truly, I can do everything he's telling me to do, I'm just lazy. My persuasive powers are null and void when it comes to that dude. FINE!!
Lots of cardio, which I'm so in need of, but I'm having a MAJOR issue with my lower body. I haven't been sore on my lower half since we've started doing these boot camps. We're doing exercises that are specifically targeting butt and legs, but I'm not getting that sore feeling. I think I must be doing them wrong, but seriously, I've been squats since I was a wee Lady Panther, I know how to do squats. Whatevs, Joe and E are gonna have to check me out on Monday to make sure I get it in. My abs are retarded sore today though. Even my FUPA is sore! Love that, no woman wants a fupa, NO ONE!
Due to some massive vacation time build up that my company won't pay me for, or let me carry over to next year, I am now taking off every Friday for the rest of the year. I need to work out when I get out of bed. So I was thinking that I would add a Friday morning boot camp, but honestly, if I'm not already up on that end of town, I really have no desire to drive my butt all the way up there, roll myself back to the crib, ON MY EXTRA DAY OFF. Yea, probably not going to happen. I did buy that P90X like 6 months ago, maybe I'll open that package up and do one of those dvds on Friday. We'll see. Maybe Mr. Bean will get a workout on Fridays too. Little fat boy needs it :).
Food. Yea, so about that.....I suck! So they do NOT have a dollar menu that includes anything that's good for me. Oh wait, scratch that...I got a fruit and yogurt parfait from McDonalds. Outside of that though, I'm totally effed in the a. I really haven't been trying to eat that great either, I've gotten a bit bored of stuff that tastes so much the same. I think I need to mix it up, I'm just not really sure how :(. More help from Joe apparently.
My "holiday" party is coming, Audrey's already picking out skanky dresses for me to wear. The stuff she's showing me will totally cause my cheeks to poke out the bottom cause they're so damned short. But I'm going to wear a dress damn it. And this bitch is gonna look supa fly, ya'll just wait! And my mama's gonna be so proud! :)
Farewell til lates homiez!
Jenn
Last night was the first time I went to a workout at the SunSpot. So this place is rad. It's the most awesome tanning spot I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I don't tan anymore. Being in my 30's and gettin' my first odd mark on my face from the sun kinda killed my love for the yummy coconut smell mixed in with sweaty flesh. There's a room in the back that we are using now that the weather is cold. Audrey and I were actually talking about this and we really prefer working out inside. While the fresh, cool air is nice, being inside and actually being able to feel yourself sweat, you just feel like you are working hard. Sweat is gooood. BTW-there's a bathroom. I don't have to make random journeys to Village Inns or Albertsons :).
E-dawg did work on us. What I love about E is that he really doesn't give a rat's hairy ball sac about how much I whine and complain. No sympathy, just do it. Which is awesome, because truly, I can do everything he's telling me to do, I'm just lazy. My persuasive powers are null and void when it comes to that dude. FINE!!
Lots of cardio, which I'm so in need of, but I'm having a MAJOR issue with my lower body. I haven't been sore on my lower half since we've started doing these boot camps. We're doing exercises that are specifically targeting butt and legs, but I'm not getting that sore feeling. I think I must be doing them wrong, but seriously, I've been squats since I was a wee Lady Panther, I know how to do squats. Whatevs, Joe and E are gonna have to check me out on Monday to make sure I get it in. My abs are retarded sore today though. Even my FUPA is sore! Love that, no woman wants a fupa, NO ONE!
Due to some massive vacation time build up that my company won't pay me for, or let me carry over to next year, I am now taking off every Friday for the rest of the year. I need to work out when I get out of bed. So I was thinking that I would add a Friday morning boot camp, but honestly, if I'm not already up on that end of town, I really have no desire to drive my butt all the way up there, roll myself back to the crib, ON MY EXTRA DAY OFF. Yea, probably not going to happen. I did buy that P90X like 6 months ago, maybe I'll open that package up and do one of those dvds on Friday. We'll see. Maybe Mr. Bean will get a workout on Fridays too. Little fat boy needs it :).
Food. Yea, so about that.....I suck! So they do NOT have a dollar menu that includes anything that's good for me. Oh wait, scratch that...I got a fruit and yogurt parfait from McDonalds. Outside of that though, I'm totally effed in the a. I really haven't been trying to eat that great either, I've gotten a bit bored of stuff that tastes so much the same. I think I need to mix it up, I'm just not really sure how :(. More help from Joe apparently.
My "holiday" party is coming, Audrey's already picking out skanky dresses for me to wear. The stuff she's showing me will totally cause my cheeks to poke out the bottom cause they're so damned short. But I'm going to wear a dress damn it. And this bitch is gonna look supa fly, ya'll just wait! And my mama's gonna be so proud! :)
Farewell til lates homiez!
Jenn
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Ooooo mama needed that one!
Yo! I got WORKED last night! (all you perv-o's, hush it up).
Last night's workout was AWESOME. Big E-dawg cardio'd the crap out of us. I really needed it. I had been feeling like while I was toning my muscles, I was a little worried that I wasn't doing enough to get my cardio right. Still sucking air after set 1 of playing vball was not improving. I'm only doing the boot camp 2 days a week, so I'm also a bit concerned about that. I need to do boot camp more, but we need to figure out the deets because there are only evening classes on Monday and Friday. I already know that I can't go to the morning camps. I can barely get up to get to work by 9 and I'm always the last one in the office. I would set myself up for failure right from the start.
OK, funny story. We all know I own a bladder the size of a pea. Well I seem to have to tinkle right as I get there, no matter if I go before I leave to go workout. I actually had to leave the park 8 minutes before we were starting, drive to Albertson's, tinkle, then hustle back. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm just gonna start using a catheter.
Circuits were set up before we got there, so I was sure we were doing WORK. Started with warm up, abs, a bunch of other crap that made my body hurt. Then came the effing suicides. Seriously? Why? They make me wanna die. Kill myself is more like it. However, I told myself that no matter how much I hate them, I would not walk. And I didn't! Don't get me wrong, I was "running" so slow by the end that I may as well have been walking, but at least I was making the running motion! hahahahaha
Then 2 rounds of circuits. I did my best and I most definitely got served.
Let me tell you what we did after circuits. So I'm thinking yippy fricking skippy, we're gonna do some crunches and then it's outskies! Oh hell no! E dawg made us go back and do more cardio! Skip jumps, you know, like you step and jump as high as you can in lay up form. Seriously, when we started, I was actually jumping, but after like 30 seconds, I'm pretty sure my jump only consisted of my reaching up to my tippy toes and thinking I was coming off the ground. Then butt kickers, which I've never really understood the reason for, but I can do those. Then stupid ass squat jumps. Again, no air between my feet and the ground....but in my head, I was SKYING like Michael Jordan! Let me provide you with the lyrics that my dear, sweet Audrey starting to sing while we were suffering..ahem ahem...
"Oh somebody kill me please, somebody kill me pleeeeease, I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please, KILL MEE. I want to die. Put a bullet in my head!!"
Thank you, I'll be going to American Idol auditions soon.
Anyway, my upper abs and my obliques are on FIRE. I definitely need a workout that is gonna work my donkey butt and dem big ole legs. I'm soo ready for that burn!
Joe's having a pumpkin workout this Saturday morning. Please check out his website at http://www.womensbootcampfitness.com/. If I read it correctly, I believe there is no cost, you just have to provide a canned food item for care and share. You also need to bring a pumpkin. Audrey said you can use her head as a pumpkin if you'd like :).
Love you guys! I also see my baby cousin in San Diego is a follower. What up Youri?! Love ya cuz!
Jenn
Last night's workout was AWESOME. Big E-dawg cardio'd the crap out of us. I really needed it. I had been feeling like while I was toning my muscles, I was a little worried that I wasn't doing enough to get my cardio right. Still sucking air after set 1 of playing vball was not improving. I'm only doing the boot camp 2 days a week, so I'm also a bit concerned about that. I need to do boot camp more, but we need to figure out the deets because there are only evening classes on Monday and Friday. I already know that I can't go to the morning camps. I can barely get up to get to work by 9 and I'm always the last one in the office. I would set myself up for failure right from the start.
OK, funny story. We all know I own a bladder the size of a pea. Well I seem to have to tinkle right as I get there, no matter if I go before I leave to go workout. I actually had to leave the park 8 minutes before we were starting, drive to Albertson's, tinkle, then hustle back. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm just gonna start using a catheter.
Circuits were set up before we got there, so I was sure we were doing WORK. Started with warm up, abs, a bunch of other crap that made my body hurt. Then came the effing suicides. Seriously? Why? They make me wanna die. Kill myself is more like it. However, I told myself that no matter how much I hate them, I would not walk. And I didn't! Don't get me wrong, I was "running" so slow by the end that I may as well have been walking, but at least I was making the running motion! hahahahaha
Then 2 rounds of circuits. I did my best and I most definitely got served.
Let me tell you what we did after circuits. So I'm thinking yippy fricking skippy, we're gonna do some crunches and then it's outskies! Oh hell no! E dawg made us go back and do more cardio! Skip jumps, you know, like you step and jump as high as you can in lay up form. Seriously, when we started, I was actually jumping, but after like 30 seconds, I'm pretty sure my jump only consisted of my reaching up to my tippy toes and thinking I was coming off the ground. Then butt kickers, which I've never really understood the reason for, but I can do those. Then stupid ass squat jumps. Again, no air between my feet and the ground....but in my head, I was SKYING like Michael Jordan! Let me provide you with the lyrics that my dear, sweet Audrey starting to sing while we were suffering..ahem ahem...
"Oh somebody kill me please, somebody kill me pleeeeease, I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please, KILL MEE. I want to die. Put a bullet in my head!!"
Thank you, I'll be going to American Idol auditions soon.
Anyway, my upper abs and my obliques are on FIRE. I definitely need a workout that is gonna work my donkey butt and dem big ole legs. I'm soo ready for that burn!
Joe's having a pumpkin workout this Saturday morning. Please check out his website at http://www.womensbootcampfitness.com/. If I read it correctly, I believe there is no cost, you just have to provide a canned food item for care and share. You also need to bring a pumpkin. Audrey said you can use her head as a pumpkin if you'd like :).
Love you guys! I also see my baby cousin in San Diego is a follower. What up Youri?! Love ya cuz!
Jenn
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
MORE!!
Boot camp went down last night and my fat tushy was ready for it. We had abs and arms on the docket for last night though, so my tubby and flappers were up to bat!
Thank the sweet lord that Joe let us work out in the garage, I probably would have started crying if we had to play outside at the park. Seriously, I play indoor sports dude, I only want to be outside if I'm baking in the sun, or whitewashing the crap outta someone in the snow.
My upper abs are burning and my arms are pretty sore. Sucks because I'm going to play volleyball here in a bit and I'm hoping I can still get the ball up to the net when I serve :). Pain is just weakness leaving your body!
I had an epiphany (yes, I know a few words with more than 2 syllables) last night. I am LAZY!! When I went to work out last night, I was a bit unfocused. Life, work, I forgot to wear my helmet yesterday, you know, the normal. I could feel myself not giving 100%, which is something I don't really associate with myself regarding anything I have truly committed myself to doing. What I have figured out is that I really need to take the same mental approach that I have when I play sports. When I step in that gym, all other things have to be left "off the court". If I don't, I'm only hurting myself and the committment I made to me when I decided to get in shape. So regardless of if I have a trainer, even one as glorious as Joe, I still have to be responsible for myself and giving my all. He can tell me exactly what to do, how to do it, but if I choose not to do it the best I can, then that's my loss. Damn that stupid maturity crap. Who said it was ok to be a grown up??
So this is probably the least funny post you kids will see from me.....because I'm EXHAUSTED and I have a headache. I think my brain is actually oooozing out of my right ear...
Anyway more to come tomorrow. Let's see if I can get focused and DO WORK SON!!
Jenn!
Thank the sweet lord that Joe let us work out in the garage, I probably would have started crying if we had to play outside at the park. Seriously, I play indoor sports dude, I only want to be outside if I'm baking in the sun, or whitewashing the crap outta someone in the snow.
My upper abs are burning and my arms are pretty sore. Sucks because I'm going to play volleyball here in a bit and I'm hoping I can still get the ball up to the net when I serve :). Pain is just weakness leaving your body!
I had an epiphany (yes, I know a few words with more than 2 syllables) last night. I am LAZY!! When I went to work out last night, I was a bit unfocused. Life, work, I forgot to wear my helmet yesterday, you know, the normal. I could feel myself not giving 100%, which is something I don't really associate with myself regarding anything I have truly committed myself to doing. What I have figured out is that I really need to take the same mental approach that I have when I play sports. When I step in that gym, all other things have to be left "off the court". If I don't, I'm only hurting myself and the committment I made to me when I decided to get in shape. So regardless of if I have a trainer, even one as glorious as Joe, I still have to be responsible for myself and giving my all. He can tell me exactly what to do, how to do it, but if I choose not to do it the best I can, then that's my loss. Damn that stupid maturity crap. Who said it was ok to be a grown up??
So this is probably the least funny post you kids will see from me.....because I'm EXHAUSTED and I have a headache. I think my brain is actually oooozing out of my right ear...
Anyway more to come tomorrow. Let's see if I can get focused and DO WORK SON!!
Jenn!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Seriously?? SERIOUSLY??
I tried to get into 4, that's right 4 pairs of jeans this morning before I could get one pair over my beefy thighs and my FAT ASS!
Unreal.
Monday night boot camp, I'm waiting to kick your ass. I just hope it's inside...it's cold out today.
Jenn
Unreal.
Monday night boot camp, I'm waiting to kick your ass. I just hope it's inside...it's cold out today.
Jenn
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