Oh crud...Day 1

Boot camp - Awww damn it.

Alright folks.  For those of you who do not know by now, I've signed up to do boot camps with Joe and his "Women's Bootcamp Fitness" workouts. 

Let me give you a quick summary of me.  I've always been very athletic growing up, but now that I'm 32 (oh yea, I'm a big girl now!) I've found that it's been VERY difficult for me to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  What I mean by that is, I eat fast food, on average, twice a day.  I know, RIDICULOUS.  I also have found that I absolutely HATE going to the gym and working out.  I have the attention span of a three year old and get bored very quickly.  Staring and some chicks' butt bounce up and down on the eliptical machine in front of me at the gym is not my idea of fun.  (I have been known to make exceptions for hot dudes though).

So what to do?  I've joined volleyball leagues throughout the city, but truthfully, playing volleyball for an hour, twice a week ain't doin' JACK to make my booty smaller, no matter how much I love doing it.  I've done every stupid fad diet on earth, Nutrisystem (takes like horses' ass), Master Cleanse (if I ever drink cayenne pepper in a drink again, I will dig my own eyeball out).

Desperate times = desperate measures.  I heard of boot camps through some coworkers, so I pulled up the handy Google tool and got to work.  I found Joe Ramirez and Women's Bootcamp Fitness.  What appealed to me most about this is that it's chicks ONLY!  No flashbacks of going to the gym aka meat market, having to deal with dudes checking me out while my tummy roll is popping up and hitting me in the face.  Who can focus and get work done when creepers are checking out the sweat patch on your butt?  I also hoped that I'd find ladies like me, everyday women, who just want to get in shape and start feeling better about themselves.

Audrey, my home skillet, and I, got in touch with Joe and went for our assessment.  It consisted of the normal taking measurements, bust, waist, booty spread, you know.  He also measured our body fat....SHOCKER!!  So while I knew my body was a mess, the actually reality of it was totally eye opening.  The only thing I could think was...DANG GUUURL!!  What chew been doin?  Ugh.  No wonder I feel like total crap.  I've really been out of control.  Joe also took us through a 30 minute sample workout and this just proved to me that I have completely let my body go.  I could barely hold myself up in a push up position!  Not doing a push up, just holding myself there.  Re-donk-ulous.  Time to work.

Day 1 - Wednesday, October 6

I'd been dreading it the entire day, but 6 pm and my first boot camp finally showed it's ugly face.  There were a total of 8 ladies, Audrey and myself included.  I immediately felt comfortable because looking around, there weren't any waif-thin, super-cut, super model bodies in the bunch. 

Joe and Eric (who has been nicknamed Evil) took us through a tough 45 minute workout.  All the exercises were ones that I was familiar with, that I think most people would be familiar with if they'd ever done any kind of workout. Squats, lunges, pushups, planks, etc.  The interesting thing was the combination of the exercises.  I really felt that my whole body was working equally, instead of Monday being leg day, Wednesday being arms and abs, etc.  I also felt my heart pumping, so I'm pretty sure I was getting my cardio on the entire time.  Lots of stuff done, some team challenges, some outright cardio, which was the only time I actually got pissed off.  They made us do suicides, I totally had flashbacks of my personal Vietnam war and the big 17 and my now broken promise to myself that I'd never do a suicide again in my life.  At the end, we did another cardio set and the very last thing consisted of forward squat jumps for about 10 feet.  I guarantee, you couldn't fit a piece of college ruled paper between my feet and the ground and the first jump I did almost caused me to face plant into the lovely grass.  Grace is my middle name.

Today, I am definitely sore, the fat baby who lives in my stomach is pretty pissed at me and I may need some assistance when I try to sit on the toilet and tinkle.  I have no control of my arms, they're just swinging as they want to, knocking crap over, because I have no muscle control.  It's called jello baby!

Look, I know I sound miserable, and I'm not going to front.  That workout was hard.  But truly, I have to start somewhere.  I've let myself go and the reason why I'm in this position is that I made the decisions to be here.  I could totally blame this on the 24 hour taco stand and the addictive quality of their chorizo breakfast burritos, but seriously, this is 100% on me!

Since Operation Fatty Blaster is 100% on me, I've also made a committment to eat better.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to turn into a health nut who eats fruits and veggies, lean meats and fishies, and just LOVES eating healthy.  HELLLLL to da nah!  You guys know me.  Fat kid food makes me happy, period.  But I'm not 18 anymore and I can't eat that crap four times a day and get away with it.  I would also like to have functional arteries, so I need to ease up.  BTW-I have not had a single fast food meal this whole week!  WORD!!

Anyway, stay tuned kids, first full week of Fatty Blasting starts Monday!  I CAN DO IT!!

Jenn